Death

It was 3 years ago yesterday that was the last time Bob hugged me and I heard him say he loved me with his physical voice. Tomorrow will be the third anniversary of his crossing over.

Life - so precious and fragile. These last few days have been hard. I know Bob is still with me. He sends me signs that can't be mistaken. But it isn't the same. I so miss the hugs. The closeness. Having someone to come home to and discuss what happened that day at work. Just having him there gave me strength.

The summer of 2012 he had complained that it felt like winter. It was a warm summer but looking back I believe he was talking about his life. The quality was slipping away and there was no desire left for quantity.

I laugh at the antics of the kittens and at the same time I am sad that they never knew Bob. He so loved our cats. Many have joined him these last couple of years. He loved to play with the laser light and the cats. Watching them fly down the hall and up the wall at the end would keep him and them busy for at least a half an hour.

Each year that goes by it is a little easier to deal with this time of the year. But it also brings more realizations of the things I miss the most.

I am glad that I know Bob is still with me. I think grief would have taken a real toll if I hadn't realized this. A friend who lost her husband exactly 8 months to the day prior to Bob leaving had a real rough time. Her husband came to both her daughter and to me with messages for her. Today she commented that he never comes to her. This is a woman whose mind chatters. It goes 90 miles an hour in a million directions. I reminded her of what he asked me to tell her. "Shut up and listen." If she could quiet her mind I am sure he would stop by for a chat.

Death - there is no such thing as death to the soul. It lives on. But death brings the loss of the closeness and physical touch.

Take a moment to hug someone you love. Absorb that closeness into your soul. For tomorrow you may not have it ever again.