Finding my path

When my husband began his new journey I lost my best friend. We could spend hours on road trips talking about life and anything else. Thirty seven years of talking and sharing - gone. What to do? How do I find my way. So many things to do. The first month was busy with dealing with insurance, Social Security, VA and all the many things a surviving spouse must go through. It can be overwhelming at times. And yet there was a certain peace that seemed to prevail in my spirit. Granted, talking to our cats wasn't the same as talking to Bob but at least they don't argue.

Friends find it hard to reach out to a grieving spouse. What to say? How to act? Should we invite them to go to dinner with several couples? So my advice - don't say anything - just give them a meaningful hug. Act natural - we are dealing with enough unnatural in our lives at the time. And yes - ask us to dinner - if we are up to socializing we will say yes - otherwise we will take a rain check. It is hard enough to adapt to single life again without feeling ostracized by those you have called friend . (And watch out for those taxes - ouch).

As the weeks passed I felt more and more at peace. Was grief waiting to sneak up and knock me down? And then I began to realize that my spirit was finding the positive. Bob and I will always be together. That is just the way it is. I hear his voice at times when I need it the most. But in those first few weeks I hadn't reached that realization. Then things began to pop up. Synchronicity was at work.

First an article about the power of positive thinking. Uh huh - where was the positive. Financial worries, loss of companionship and numerous other things were all clamoring with doom and gloom. But that small sense of peace kept leading me to more articles of the same. So finally - what the heck - I will try it.

Small steps - find 5 things each day that I was grateful for and 5 things that were positive that day. A beautiful sunrise, a funny joke, a tasty brownie. Each day a new set of things. And then one day I began to notice there were way more things than 5 of each.

And I had found the path.